The Power of Self-Care: Building Resilience and Reconnecting with Yourself (incl downloadable personal template)
“In a society that says, “Put yourself last,” self-love and self acceptance are almost revolutionary. Self care is not a disregard for others’ needs. It is extending the same concern and empathy for your needs that you offer others.” Brene Brown
Self-care has become somewhat of a buzz word in recent years, however that does not take away from its ability to offer us emotional, physical, psychological and spiritual support each and every day.
By learning what self care means for you, you can grow your very own support crew, increase your self awareness and have new ways to stay connected to self, through life’s ups and downs.
So, what is self care?
Self care builds resilience towards life stressors
A term used to describe any activity or practise we intentionally do to take care of our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health, self care can enhance mood, relieve anxiety and depression, and support healthy relationships with others, while helping you to feel rested, refreshed and connected to yourself.
“Self care supports you to fit your own oxygen mask before helping others, by recharging (or refuelling) your own energy.” Nicky
I want you to know that self care goes far beyond massages and manicures, spa days and reading your favourite book - because self care is as individual as you are. For one person, these activities may form part of their self care plan, and for another person, self care will look completely different.
If you’re feeling some resistance coming up at the idea of making time to take care of you, you’re not alone.
We live in a society, where self care can quickly be labelled as self indulgent, and where the high value we place on productivity sees mothers, women, parents, employees, small business owners…so many people who are expected to do it all, without complaint and without taking time just for themselves. Especially those of us who learned to ‘just get on with it’ growing up.
Yet, we all need time and space to be, to rest, to play and to live by our values. This is an essential part of being human. It’s easy to fall into the trap of neglecting our own needs in favour of meeting the demands of work, family, and our other responsibilities, yet continually neglecting ourselves ultimately leads to stress, anxiety and burnout.
Self care is vital to our wellbeing. Rather than being an emergency response tool that we only use during stressful times, it’s a daily and intentional way of living that holds us through stressful times.
If you’re well practised at putting the needs of others before your own, it’s natural that self care may feel uncomfortable at first.
To dip your toe into making this commitment to yourself, it can help to think about the following questions:
What are the things that I love to do?
How much time do I get to spend doing these things?
What are my values?
What supports me to recharge and to feel like me?
Where can I include some play and rest in my life?
Write down your answers. Are there any common themes or specific activities that you know help you to reduce stress and reconnect with self?
“Self care is a form of mindfulness - a deliberate and intentional act of making time and space for yourself“. Nicky
Different areas of self care
Self care can take many forms, including:
Physical Self Care
Includes activities that help you take care of your body, such as exercise, getting enough sleep, and eating a healthy diet.
Psychological Self Care
Involves taking care of your mental and emotional health, and may include mindfulness, engaging in therapy or counselling, and other activities that support relaxation and recharging.
Spiritual Self Care
Engaging in activities that nourish your spiritual life and connect you to something greater. This could include meditation, prayer, or spending time in nature.
Emotional Self Care
Involves taking care of your emotions through setting clear boundaries, practising self-compassion and expressing yourself.
Professional Self Care
Taking time for yourself in the workplace, for example: setting boundaries between work and personal life, taking breaks, and seeking support when needed.
Being selective about who gets your energy is a form of self care
A common theme you’ll notice with self care is that it is closely linked with boundaries. In fact, setting healthy boundaries in our lives is a form of self care. You can read more about boundaries in my post: “What are healthy boundaries and how do we set them kindly?”
Self care cup fillers
Self care doesn’t need to take long, or cost money to have a profound effect on your sense of wellbeing.
Here are some activities you can try to refill your cup. Pick one or two to start with:
Do a random act of kindness - and notice how it makes you feel
Do something creative
Stay off social media for a day
Spend a day alone in nature
Declutter your room / space - clear external space, supports a clear head space
Spend time with a pet
Give yourself a compliment in the mirror
Spend some time in nature
Spend time with a loved one
Watch a funny movie
Dance it out!
Enjoy a mindful cup of tea.
Personally, I find that time spent in nature, regular meditation, mindfulness and yoga practices, combined with work boundaries and time with my loved ones are essential pieces to my self-care puzzle. These have, and will change throughout my life, as my needs change.
How to create a sustainable self care practice
Self care is an ongoing practice, but it doesn’t need to be a complicated addition to your life. Here’s some ideas for creating a sustainable self care practice that works for you.
Start small
Starting with small self care practices in your day-to-day routine will make a big difference (without the overwhelm).
You may decide to start by setting aside 10 minutes in your first week, and gradually increase from there.
Have some fun and experiment to find out what works for you
Everyone is different and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to self care.
Spend some time mapping out your self care plan
Using a tool like the ‘My Self Care Reminders’, to map out your own ready-reference guide to turn to, when you need a reminder of the self care activities that help you the most.
I have developed the ‘My Self Care Reminders’ template, to be like your very own support crew, gently reminding you of the early indicators that stress is building up, and the self care practices that can support you to relieve stress and reconnect to yourself.
Download your free ‘My Self Care Reminders’ and leave me a comment below about your thoughts on self care.
Would you like more support around self care, personally or professionally? I offer 1:1 counselling as well as mindfulness and meditation sessions. We can work together on an individualised approach to your needs, with strategies that suit your goals and your lifestyle.
Book a complimentary 10-minute consultation to find out more.